How do you feel about cruises?
We spent a recent Thanksgiving at the home of one of the best cooks in the family. Every bite of every dish was perfectly seasoned, perfectly cooked. As we ate, the dinner conversation meandered onto the topic of what kinds of vacations people were taking.
My brother in-law said, “We’re going on a cruise next month.”
He looked in my direction. “You guys should come!” I was savoring a bite of sweet potato and before I could respond, my wife said, “Oh, he doesn’t like cruises.”
I was about to interject when an aunt said, “You should just take Dramamine for the sea sickness. It worked for me last time.”
An uncle agreed with a nod but said, “You probably won’t need it. Usually, cruise ships aim for calmer waters and the boat will be pretty steady. Plus, there’s so much to do on a cruise, you might forget you’re even on a boat!”
A few others weighed in with their seasickness or cruise ship tales. As quickly as it began, the cruise talk was over, and the conversation went in another direction.
I hadn’t said a word.
I laughed to myself. I’ve never gotten seasick in my life. I’ve been on many boats of all shapes and sizes, even a couple of cruise ships. Never even a hint of sea sickness.
I’m just not a fan of cruises, but seasickness has nothing to do with it. I’ve done them and they are fun for sure, but I like to go out and wander. I like to eat at different restaurants in towns I’ve never been to and see different places. Cruises have day trips on land, but I still feel boxed in.
That’s the real reason I don’t like them. No one at the table would ever know that. Everyone made an assumption about my reasons and never asked.
I try to remember this story when I assume what someone’s reasons are for something, or just what they are going to say next. I have a bad habit of “fast-forwarding” during conversations. I feel so sure I know where things are going that I make assumptions and jump ahead. Many times those assumptions are wrong.
To slow things down I count to two. Someone says something. I count to two before responding. If I do respond, I try to make sure that response is a question.
Its hard for my fast forwarding brain to hit the brakes and the silence kills me, but it’s always worth it.
What about you? Do you like cruises? 1…2..